


Who's the Best Cook?

by RoseRose



Series: Pepper and Sam Have Coffee [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Cooking, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 14:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18662158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseRose/pseuds/RoseRose
Summary: Loosely connected to the previous fic, do not have to read it to understand. (Previous fic has Stuckony, as this is in the same universe, they are in a relationship but this fic has 0 shipping content, the relationship isn't even mentioned.)Clint needs money so he challenges the Avengers to a cooking contest. Sam tells Pepper all about it.For the Domestic Avengers square for Marvel Bingo





	Who's the Best Cook?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my beta, Joanis for looking this fic over. Any remaining errors are my own.

When Pepper saw Sam's grin as he walked into the diner for their weekly meeting, she knew this week was going to be a good story, and one she could relax and listen to, not one she would have to do damage control for. “So, Sam, what were the intrepid Avengers up to this time?” she greeted Sam with a smile.

 

Sam's grin, if anything, grew wider. “Cooking. A competition to see who was the best cook. I was at my Mama's for the day, so I just got the aftermath.”

 

Pepper giggled. She remembered the time Tony tried to make an omelette, and enough time had passed she could laugh at the ridiculous omelette without having to deal with the situation that led up to it. “How did that happen? Usually Tony or Steve is the instigator for the ridiculous, and I can't see that as something they'd start.”

 

“Easy. The final suspect you didn't mention. Clint. Apparently he needed money, so he bet he was a better cook than the rest of them. Since I was out of the tower, apparently I was going to be drafted into judging when I got back.”

 

Pepper paused for a minute when the waitress showed up. Given the subject matter of the conversation, she ordered an omelette for lunch. “Did any one of them think to put rules onto this competition?” she asked, once the waitress had left.

 

“Just one, from what I gathered. No deliberate sabotage.” Sam was very relieved about that rule, actually. It meant there was no bloodshed when he got back to the tower, just food mess. “And, surprisingly, there was actually food for me to judge. Not all of it  _ good _ food, mind you, but food was there.”

 

“Okay, before you get to the food, tell me what you know of the process, or at least what created the mess!” Pepper, despite sitting primly in the booth was giving off distinctive vibes of bouncing in her seat. She was eager to have a good story that had no damage control attached to it.

 

“Well, other than Clint being responsible for the whole thing, he and Bruce were least responsible for the whole mess. They had dirty dishes and some spills, but nothing major. Just the kind of things any cook could expect when working quickly. So, the gamble with the bet seemed to pay off for Clint right from the get-go. Steve had potato peelings  _ everywhere _ . Seriously, his work area reminded me that he grew up poor Irish Catholic during the Depression than anything else. Bucky actually also had a whole bunch of potatoes, but his dish actually taught me something. Did you know he grew up Jewish?”

 

Pepper and Sam both sobered up at that. “Wait, you mean HYDRA forced a Jewish man to basically fight for Nazis for seventy years?” Pepper asked incredulously, with dawning horror in her voice.

 

“Yes, but I didn't bring it up and I'm not going to. If he wants to talk about it, I'll listen, and I'm sure as heck going to ask him about Jewish holidays to let him know I'm open, but this kind of thing? Talking about it has to be his choice.” Sam was quiet but fierce. He might find their antics amusing when he wasn't participating himself, but he was also very protective of the Avengers, especially Steve and Bucky.

 

“Right. Not our business unless he wants it to be.” Pepper nodded decisively. “What about Natasha and Tony's food prep areas?” She brought the conversation back to the original point.

 

“Ohhh boy! I saved those two for last because they made the absolute biggest mess. Tony was dripping, covered in eggs and shells, as well as various bits of vegetables. Natasha, well, she was purple in a lot of places from beetroot. In fact, she's now a redhead again in order to cover up the purple that was showing on that blonde hair. Basically, everything was a complete and utter mess where they worked. Tony was cheerful, because I'm fairly sure he was expecting this result, but Natasha looked about ready to kill Clint for suggesting this plan.”

 

Pepper starts laughing at the idea of Natasha covered in purple spots. “How did you keep from being hit by a Widow's Bite?” she asked through the giggles.

 

“I'm not entirely sure.” Sam let out a laugh of his own, and continued, grinning. “I think she was more interested in revenge on Clint for getting her into this than anything else. So anyway, there I was, having walked in on the disaster kitchen scene and being told I have to judge the food made. Pepper, I was actually nervous. I trust any and all of them to have my back in a fight, but I had absolutely no idea if any of them knew how to cook. At least now I know the answer to that.”

 

“So... what did they make?” Pepper leaned the barest hint forwards, telegraphing her eagerness to those who know her, but letting nothing slip to those who don't.

 

“Well, Clint insisted on going last, so I tried Bruce's first. The man is capable of cooking, but boy, did he burn my mouth. He made an Indian curry type dish, he had a name for it, but I don't remember what he said, and it was so hot it was clear he'd learned it in India. Fortunately, he thought ahead enough to put a glass of milk next to me. I then had to suffer through Clint and Tony joking about how they didn't think I could turn red, but apparently making things spicy enough made even my skin look like a stoplight.”

 

“I actually tried one of Bruce's dishes once while he was taking a break from sciencing with Tony. He really does pile on the spices. He told me it was from living on the run in so many places that appreciate spicy food. He's learned to love the heat.”

 

“Yep, it was pretty obvious. Everything was well-prepared, but the fire in my mouth was pretty intense. Steve was next, and it was clear the man had grown up Irish in the Great Depression. It was a stew. Potato stew. There were some other vegetables in there, but it was basically mushy, overcooked, bland potatoes. The problem with judging it was he was standing there, eyes shining, saying how it was his favorite recipe of his ma's. How the hell could I tell the man that his food wasn't that good? I mean, I was staring his 'Captain America believes YOU will do the right thing' look in his face where doing the right thing was saying how awesome his ma's stew was. I ended up mumbling something about potatoes, and moving quickly to the next dish.”

 

Pepper's giggles returned. “I hate how hard it is to disappoint the man, but I'm sure you did fine. I know that look is how he gets people to do all sorts of things they wouldn't do, but I thought you've been exposed enough to have some resistance.”

 

Sam sighed deeply. “Some resistance, but it's still difficult. The main reason I could resist is because they were  _ all _ giving me some variation of that look. So, since I couldn't please all of them, I had to disappoint some of them. The Avengers are not just dangerous because they're deadly. They're dangerous because they are  _ persuasive. _ ”

 

Pepper nodded, the giggles fading as she realized the truth in that statement. “So, whose dish was after Steve's?”

 

“Bucky's. And that was more potatoes. Now, I grew up in New York. I've had good latkes. And those? The ones he made? Those were not good latkes. He claimed they were traditional, and that he grew up eating them, so he knew, but the Jewish family down the street from me when I grew up would have never claimed those latkes. I mean, they were edible and all, but the fact that he grew up at the same time as Steve was obvious. And the blandness wasn't the only flaw. They were oil logged. I mean, the things are supposed to be fried and somewhat greasy, but I shouldn't feel like I'm drinking oil when I'm eating a latke. And somehow, he managed to cook all the flavor out of the onion! I don't know how he did it. He also tried to guilt me into saying they were better than they were by bringing up his memory! I mean, the man went on about how they helped him remember his sister, and while the story was sweet, I could tell he was bullshitting me just to do better in the competition. That man is a  _ troll. _ He tried to rip my heart out, and only succeeded in getting Tony to glare at me as he hugged Bucky while he talked about his happy memories. I think Tony was trolling me, too, because he didn't get angry at Steve for just doing his best to hold a straight face.”

 

“Wait, all three of them trolled you over Bucky's memories?”

 

“Well, Steve just didn't prevent it. His poker face doesn't work well when it comes to things about Bucky, so his job was just not cracking. Tony and Bucky, though, they were definitely trolling me.”

 

“Since I know Tony is good at it, how do the Avengers ever manage to get anything done past the guilt trips and the trolling of the three of them?” Pepper shook her head at the image.

 

“Oh, it's not easy, but I'm mostly resistant to Steve, and Nat can read Bucky like an open book. Bruce wrangles Tony, so if all three of them aren't working together, with a plan, it's easy to divide and conquer. The problem comes when either Nat, Bruce, or myself gets dragged in. Like with this cooking contest.”

 

“So that's why the flying contest last week happened?” Pepper asked with a carefully arched brow.

 

“So, Tony was next in the judging contest.” Sam managed to make the abrupt topic jump sound natural and not like he was clearly avoiding talking about the flying contest where he clipped an antenna off the Empire State Building. “He made something resembling an omelette.” Pepper winced at that, but Sam didn't notice, and he continued with the description. “Visually it was perfect, but then I tried to take a bite. The thing was burnt on the outside and raw in the middle, with crunchy raw vegetables and frozen cheese. I have absolutely no idea how he managed to ruin an omelette that badly and still have something that looked like an omelette on the plate. It was absurd. It looked amazing, and tasted absolutely horrible. Fortunately for me, he seemed to know that. He was clearly doing it just for the heck of it, and said that an omelette was the only thing he even had any idea how to make.”

 

“Yes, I know he's attempted omelettes before.” Her careful level tone had Sam doing a double take, but she shook her head to let him know not to pursue it.

 

“Natasha's dish apparently was borscht. It was very dark, pretty much the color of dried blood, which made me nervous. When she realized what was making me nervous, she smiled. It was a pleasant smile that scared the shit out of me. I then took a bite, and practically gagged. It was so sour that I couldn't taste any other flavor, and the vegetables in it were slimy. Basically, if it wasn't for the fact that I know the ingredients were all fresh, I would have thought it was rotten. One bite was all I managed, and then I had to give a comment with Natasha standing there, looking at me expectantly. She may not have been visibly armed, but we both know that doesn't matter with her. I diplomatically mentioned it seemed a bit too sour, and that got me off with a nod. I felt like I barely escaped with my life!”

 

Laughing, Pepper responded. “I'm so glad I wasn't there for this. I'd have been roped into being a judge, too, and I'm not sure if I'd have handled it as well as you did!”

 

“Yes, well, Clint's dish was next, and I was very nervous for how it would turn out. I hoped it would be good since the whole thing was his idea, but you never know. Apparently, his dish was a favorite when he worked in the circus. It was dutch oven chicken pot pie. While the crust looked nice, the inside looked like swamp muck, which made me even more nervous. I took a small bite, and then devoured the whole thing! It was the best chicken pot pie I had ever eaten. The crust was tender and flakey, the filling so flavorful with chicken cooked to perfection. The swampy color of the filling was apparently the fresh herbs that were used to make the whole thing come together. The whole time I was thinking how damn well Clint can cook. Fortunately for the rest, he made a circus worth, or enough to feed the Avengers who eat as much as whole damn circus.”

 

“So everyone liked Clint's dish?”

 

“Yep! I didn't even really need to judge, he was declared winner by acclaim. He won the money, but I think it will all backfire on him in the end.” Sam's grin grew very wide. “Since he's such a good cook, all the Avengers have been asking him to cook dinner every single night since the contest.”

 

This time, when Pepper laughed, Sam joined her. “But what about you, Sam? I know you can cook, you told me about your mother teaching you.”

 

Sam looked like a cat who had suddenly found a never ending fountain of cream. “Ah yes, but since I didn't participate, the Avengers don't know that.”

**Author's Note:**

> The swampy chicken pot pie is based on an actual cooking contest winning chicken pot pie from my Girl Scout days. I don't have the recipe (I was in charge of salad) but that chicken pot pie won multiple competitions, though it wasn't always swampy inside, I felt the swampy one was the best tasting. (The color was mostly due to the oregano).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [You Coulda Said No, Punk](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20505383) by [betheflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/betheflame/pseuds/betheflame)




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